twenty-oh-9
...pushed into a state of highest emergencies. codes painted with flickering yellow lights. winding the streetlights-booms of flashing luminance.
I've got some things for you- but instead the material became the intangible. fought out of freedom-I took the letters & threw them in the fire, embers rolled over sacks & I licked them dry.
caressing the furthest parts of my mind & found naked thoughts-
skirming in starkness- confidence.
what lies in darkness will always be brought to light.
I put a lighter to embalm the desolated woman I've become.
melting intentionally-sparing others of the crooked truth.
Spread apart like sticky fingers
Give me a 6 reasons to love you.
one for every year I've expensed in tears.
Sometimes I suggest a care to make myself feel someone.
Anything short of lonely.
Simmer as to bubble with a crunch
If I wrote about my life – I feel there’d be so many misspellings.
I can’t resist shaking things to my core & upsetting my norm.-
touch me where it hurts. thus I can feel closer to human vibrations.
pacified the good men for the good man I knew before he knew how to fuck.
teaching woman tricks that he burglarized from his first l0ve.
love of my life-seems unrecognizable now
as I sit in beds up all night. pillows take the place of lovers.
reasoning better judgment in order to stroke the esteem that I hide
expose myself for sake of the deal break.shoving myself esteAmED into dark dimensions. give me amnesia-so i can stand into a trustworthy earth. to cover my body with faith.
addicted to manifestations of a real destination. one consumed with myself,the only one I've never been in love with.
the journey had taken so many different routes. none of which I've found blind bliss.
maybe I just don't know how to love. no fluffy words to validate that.
competing with tasteful rendezvouses taking trains to feel real urban-ness. to staying in bed long enough to count every crease on my face.
in dire need of a transcontinental conception-
typing words to free myself of adulterated ideas.
some try & poke through the subliminal-
yet no one can fully birth my thoughts... repetitive representatives.
the women that fuel my vitality still can't upkeep my scattered mind's maintenance.
the loneliness multiplies with every mis.absorbed connotation.
I DO fold-because I've never been good at bluffing.I'm a bad liar & squander in my own deceptions.
I can’t smoke enough; slurp too much, to ill myself of you.
I bask in the moments where I’m condemned to the sedated thoughts that swim in MY libido's ocean.
Intoxicate it all to inform my subconscious with filtered reasoning.
Impatiented by thoughts be the air that suckles your commitment.
When I don’t see words strewn across, my hearts skippens completes.
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