Friday, April 29, 2011
com(pose)d
Embers grip my afterthoughts ^ I become the scene. I disperse into a thousand starlit pieces & bounce gleam off pretensions. The conceptual find it alluring & an aftermath of disabled cognition recognize the jury. Give me the utensils. I want a golden starship- a trip to a place that exists only in vain. a blackhole burnt to charcoal. Push me to a state of emergency. In depths unhindered. Splashing into a sphere clothed in nude. Faith. Bare bodies of urgency$ swimming toward an indestructive elusiveness. Unadulterated waters. submerged in scolding bathwater- rip your scent off of me. Heat surrounds everything but my eyes. A soliloquy. Disecting an unworthy composition of a tasteless redemption. LaundÉred thoughts.
La Douleur Exquise- Part One
I guess I've never started a piece without riddles & disorientedly scrabbled words.
This summer of 09 has reoccurred thoughts that are so cut & dry they almost slice my originals.
Before things get any more crammed inside my warped complexion of a mind -
I should let those know how I feel, collectively of course.
Berto- Things must get hard just so that you can cum. a demolition always happens before re-construction. cliches now seem like fickled positivity given by people so they may be a part of your healing process. They're coming from a good place & their intentions are pure even if after the 2,658th "you're better off. things will fall into place" often end up seeming dissimulating.
with matters of the heart-once emotions nuzzle up where your rationality used to lie- things get sheisty.
black & whites all become grey. so many factors-no one to blame. everyone's ashamed.
we escape ourselves in each other....
I've been to hell & back.
they welcome me with open arms now. I'm a regular.
it's almost as if I'm not phased by that scolding darkness any longer. until heaven calls from a "507" phone number. the inferno repeats itself.
I've been blessed. I sincerely have been. I've had so many take me by the hand & lighten my life with their glistening l.o.v.e. for -me.
An undistinguished regime of my lovely yet unpresent father has taken a toll on my adaptation of good men.
I don't have the heart to speak evils. We share laughs & for that I have felt a warmth impossible from anyone else. I love you Daddy. I look forward to the day I'm given away to someone who can love my scars away.
J- I will never be able write enough words to express how much you have meant in the last near decade. my teacher & student of how it feels to be really loved.truly.
forget gems-you were this girl's best friend.
I've fallen hard for your family & friends. they have become the loves of my life.
you've always had my best interest even when you were showing other women my maneuvers.
Life is not your battle-it's your divine sanction. grasp your needs & let them marinate. fall in love as many times as you can-just be sincere & put yourself at the very top of your list-
yours is the only happiness you can manipulate.
Its taken many years to seek a future life unconsumed with a complicated love story.
R- you have loved me through every terrible endeavor I took you through. You have been my urban love-one unconditional & unfatigued by out skirted perception of a love. We have taken hold of Chicago & you've brought soul where vacant roots used to sit.You have "put me on" to conquests & a musically lit Chicago adventure. I will always feel you.when 2 people have no direction they just keep bumping into each other. I need a destination other than your heart's taste-buds.
"A good man is hard to find. A hard man is good to find."
As of this point I feel like my heart & I have have never dueted. never joined forces to exist cooperatively.I have standards. I'm attracted to distracted minds & difficult precisions.
I need warmth & a combustible attraction. I find a dedication to spontaneity.
A city girl- I've found myself inebriated in the metropolitan-highlighted street lights & dampened by morning afters.
as the windy one blows-I need to find this chicagowoman.
as I leave 23 behind & my 25th year approaches on this planet-
b-I recognize myself in you-
On the globe of my life I've been searching for someone to point ME out.
- I need to arrange my own atlas & make my own itinerary.
This summer of 09 has reoccurred thoughts that are so cut & dry they almost slice my originals.
Before things get any more crammed inside my warped complexion of a mind -
I should let those know how I feel, collectively of course.
Berto- Things must get hard just so that you can cum. a demolition always happens before re-construction. cliches now seem like fickled positivity given by people so they may be a part of your healing process. They're coming from a good place & their intentions are pure even if after the 2,658th "you're better off. things will fall into place" often end up seeming dissimulating.
with matters of the heart-once emotions nuzzle up where your rationality used to lie- things get sheisty.
black & whites all become grey. so many factors-no one to blame. everyone's ashamed.
we escape ourselves in each other....
I've been to hell & back.
they welcome me with open arms now. I'm a regular.
it's almost as if I'm not phased by that scolding darkness any longer. until heaven calls from a "507" phone number. the inferno repeats itself.
I've been blessed. I sincerely have been. I've had so many take me by the hand & lighten my life with their glistening l.o.v.e. for -me.
An undistinguished regime of my lovely yet unpresent father has taken a toll on my adaptation of good men.
I don't have the heart to speak evils. We share laughs & for that I have felt a warmth impossible from anyone else. I love you Daddy. I look forward to the day I'm given away to someone who can love my scars away.
J- I will never be able write enough words to express how much you have meant in the last near decade. my teacher & student of how it feels to be really loved.truly.
forget gems-you were this girl's best friend.
I've fallen hard for your family & friends. they have become the loves of my life.
you've always had my best interest even when you were showing other women my maneuvers.
Life is not your battle-it's your divine sanction. grasp your needs & let them marinate. fall in love as many times as you can-just be sincere & put yourself at the very top of your list-
yours is the only happiness you can manipulate.
Its taken many years to seek a future life unconsumed with a complicated love story.
R- you have loved me through every terrible endeavor I took you through. You have been my urban love-one unconditional & unfatigued by out skirted perception of a love. We have taken hold of Chicago & you've brought soul where vacant roots used to sit.You have "put me on" to conquests & a musically lit Chicago adventure. I will always feel you.when 2 people have no direction they just keep bumping into each other. I need a destination other than your heart's taste-buds.
"A good man is hard to find. A hard man is good to find."
As of this point I feel like my heart & I have have never dueted. never joined forces to exist cooperatively.I have standards. I'm attracted to distracted minds & difficult precisions.
I need warmth & a combustible attraction. I find a dedication to spontaneity.
A city girl- I've found myself inebriated in the metropolitan-highlighted street lights & dampened by morning afters.
as the windy one blows-I need to find this chicagowoman.
as I leave 23 behind & my 25th year approaches on this planet-
b-I recognize myself in you-
On the globe of my life I've been searching for someone to point ME out.
- I need to arrange my own atlas & make my own itinerary.
cata.comb-ik.
twenty-oh-9
...pushed into a state of highest emergencies. codes painted with flickering yellow lights. winding the streetlights-booms of flashing luminance.
I've got some things for you- but instead the material became the intangible. fought out of freedom-I took the letters & threw them in the fire, embers rolled over sacks & I licked them dry.
caressing the furthest parts of my mind & found naked thoughts-
skirming in starkness- confidence.
what lies in darkness will always be brought to light.
I put a lighter to embalm the desolated woman I've become.
melting intentionally-sparing others of the crooked truth.
Spread apart like sticky fingers
Give me a 6 reasons to love you.
one for every year I've expensed in tears.
Sometimes I suggest a care to make myself feel someone.
Anything short of lonely.
Simmer as to bubble with a crunch
If I wrote about my life – I feel there’d be so many misspellings.
I can’t resist shaking things to my core & upsetting my norm.-
touch me where it hurts. thus I can feel closer to human vibrations.
pacified the good men for the good man I knew before he knew how to fuck.
teaching woman tricks that he burglarized from his first l0ve.
love of my life-seems unrecognizable now
as I sit in beds up all night. pillows take the place of lovers.
reasoning better judgment in order to stroke the esteem that I hide
expose myself for sake of the deal break.shoving myself esteAmED into dark dimensions. give me amnesia-so i can stand into a trustworthy earth. to cover my body with faith.
addicted to manifestations of a real destination. one consumed with myself,the only one I've never been in love with.
the journey had taken so many different routes. none of which I've found blind bliss.
maybe I just don't know how to love. no fluffy words to validate that.
competing with tasteful rendezvouses taking trains to feel real urban-ness. to staying in bed long enough to count every crease on my face.
in dire need of a transcontinental conception-
typing words to free myself of adulterated ideas.
some try & poke through the subliminal-
yet no one can fully birth my thoughts... repetitive representatives.
the women that fuel my vitality still can't upkeep my scattered mind's maintenance.
the loneliness multiplies with every mis.absorbed connotation.
I DO fold-because I've never been good at bluffing.I'm a bad liar & squander in my own deceptions.
I can’t smoke enough; slurp too much, to ill myself of you.
I bask in the moments where I’m condemned to the sedated thoughts that swim in MY libido's ocean.
Intoxicate it all to inform my subconscious with filtered reasoning.
Impatiented by thoughts be the air that suckles your commitment.
When I don’t see words strewn across, my hearts skippens completes.
...pushed into a state of highest emergencies. codes painted with flickering yellow lights. winding the streetlights-booms of flashing luminance.
I've got some things for you- but instead the material became the intangible. fought out of freedom-I took the letters & threw them in the fire, embers rolled over sacks & I licked them dry.
caressing the furthest parts of my mind & found naked thoughts-
skirming in starkness- confidence.
what lies in darkness will always be brought to light.
I put a lighter to embalm the desolated woman I've become.
melting intentionally-sparing others of the crooked truth.
Spread apart like sticky fingers
Give me a 6 reasons to love you.
one for every year I've expensed in tears.
Sometimes I suggest a care to make myself feel someone.
Anything short of lonely.
Simmer as to bubble with a crunch
If I wrote about my life – I feel there’d be so many misspellings.
I can’t resist shaking things to my core & upsetting my norm.-
touch me where it hurts. thus I can feel closer to human vibrations.
pacified the good men for the good man I knew before he knew how to fuck.
teaching woman tricks that he burglarized from his first l0ve.
love of my life-seems unrecognizable now
as I sit in beds up all night. pillows take the place of lovers.
reasoning better judgment in order to stroke the esteem that I hide
expose myself for sake of the deal break.shoving myself esteAmED into dark dimensions. give me amnesia-so i can stand into a trustworthy earth. to cover my body with faith.
addicted to manifestations of a real destination. one consumed with myself,the only one I've never been in love with.
the journey had taken so many different routes. none of which I've found blind bliss.
maybe I just don't know how to love. no fluffy words to validate that.
competing with tasteful rendezvouses taking trains to feel real urban-ness. to staying in bed long enough to count every crease on my face.
in dire need of a transcontinental conception-
typing words to free myself of adulterated ideas.
some try & poke through the subliminal-
yet no one can fully birth my thoughts... repetitive representatives.
the women that fuel my vitality still can't upkeep my scattered mind's maintenance.
the loneliness multiplies with every mis.absorbed connotation.
I DO fold-because I've never been good at bluffing.I'm a bad liar & squander in my own deceptions.
I can’t smoke enough; slurp too much, to ill myself of you.
I bask in the moments where I’m condemned to the sedated thoughts that swim in MY libido's ocean.
Intoxicate it all to inform my subconscious with filtered reasoning.
Impatiented by thoughts be the air that suckles your commitment.
When I don’t see words strewn across, my hearts skippens completes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)